The feels of/for UIL....

 So here we are at the contest week. Each school having worked since November/December to prepare their students and shows.

Where are my thoughts?  Nervous, intimidation, concern, second guessing, worry, wanting, tired....

I must remind myself that I did the best I could despite all the challenges:

COVID wipeout of students on any given day and for weeks

Undertrained students (felt like truly starting from zero) due to missing stage opportunities...again COVID

Lack of rehearsals....felt like I needed more

Students not getting off book in time to really explore characters

Competing with all other school activities for students' time 

Continual  changes to make it better...throws young actors

Snow days wiping out rehearsals and preview show.

Selecting shows that include the maximum cast and crew allowed plus extras.

And on and on and on....

Would it have been easier to do a minimum cast show this year?  Yes.

Would the students have gotten anything out of that though?  Not in my opinion.

Did I build a show that will overwhelm the judges with technology?  No.

Did I create a story full of fun characters?  Yes.

Did I hopeful create a show arc with the lead? Maybe.

Do I hope to advance or be recognized?  Yes. 

Will it happen?  Maybe.

I must remind myself that all schools are perhaps going through what we did.  But maybe they decided to have continual Saturday rehearsals unlike me.  Though wrangling my group to meet on a Saturday is an act of higher powers.

I kept putting my family and personal self first.  And I may "pay" for that this year. 

In the end, it will be.  I will pick up the cast no matter what rewards are received or not.  Remind them that it is about the journey not the awards....blah, blah, blah.  Then start the next show.

An amazing surprise...

 

This was forwarded to me today to my complete surprise.  

An afternoon after almost crying at my desk trying to submit UIL designs. A day after having a horrible moment with a student - who is beyond my last grain of patience.  Two weeks after almost walking out because I thought no one noticed or cared. A month after almost not coming back from break. 

To say that this school year has been challenging is an understatement.  Every day is a new discovery of what the students actually know and don't know.   COVID denied them many opportunities for experience on and back stage.  I have to keep reminding myself that they really do not know the very basic stuff.  Not just classroom or Theatre but simple social conduct.  

My 6th graders are starting to break free of the 4th grade mentality.  You see, that is the grade level that many of them just stopped....socially....emotionally...academically.  I have 6th graders "tattling" - yes, tattling like elementary school children.  My year starting with 6th graders wrestling in the hallway.....  I did not sign up to teach elementary but alas, that is exactly what we all are doing. 

The list of the "do not knows" is longer than the regular list of the year. 

My advanced students have just not had the stage time that is usually acquired by this point.  Instincts are really not there...at all. Nor have they started to develop.  

Being a singleton...the only Theatre teacher...do not really give me anyone to vent to.  My poor husband serves at the sounding board.  Thankfully he is a willing victim.  Plus everyone else is being pushed to the max so I feel horrible airing my troubles when so many people have so many concerning things. 

To sum up this honor bestowed upon me today:  Thank you universe, former students, allies I did not know I had, for finding me in the mist and reminding me that what I do matters...and lifting me out of a very dark place. I will bounce joyfully and live on this energy for quite a while. 

Now to finish UIL strong - both the student designers and cast/crew of the show.