Meatloaf...my idols are passing way too quickly.

Slowly my youth idols are passing.....another singing in heaven.

(Lost my Monkee idols earlier...another talented Texan, Mr. Michael Nesmith, gone as well. Hours of my teenage years watching reruns of The Monkees and learning all their songs and absorbing the slapstick of the show.)

https://youtu.be/aKspGNCkSAc

 https://deadline.com/2022/01/meat-loaf-dead-bat-out-of-hell-rocky-horror-picture-show-1234917056/?fbclid=IwAR39U5_K1tgkjEMb4erv7SJgfXsegaqL8AInmk4vZkpChfkzFAI6DtrKR4M

A boy from Texas had gone to the big city - NYC - and made it...on his own terms. His music was emotional, expressive, and full of life. You felt what he felt, you cried when he cried. His music was recorded by others trying to add their style and emotions...but you could not top the original. (Though Barbara Streisand really rivals him on her version of Left in the Dark Again.) He understood the dramatics of the song and how to put himself in the various positions of the moment. HIs collaboration with Jim Steinman was pure magic. Jim wrote the words and Meatloaf emoted them to music.

A movie made about his life appeared in 2000: Meat Loaf: To Hell and Back. He survived being the hefty kid made fun of at school, he survived his home life, he fell and rose several times in his life. He tried everything: singing, acting, directing, editing, etc. He dealt with his demons and rose above them. If I remember the movie correctly, he performs at the Emerald Room in Dallas. I have stood on that stage...closest that I ever was to actually meeting him.

He sang rock opera....and I listened. I wanted to be him. I wanted to be singing with him. I wanted to power ballad my way into performing on stage.

Did I? Perhaps at times. But not to his successful ends.

I played his albums over and over until they were unplayable. Now we have the luxury of technology to find, store, and enjoy his work again.

I guess Steinman had some ideas and needed Meatloaf to collaborate while Nesmith listened. Safe journey Marvin-Eddie-Meatloaf.

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Side note to loving Meatloaf-singer not the dinner-I won a religious game show in NYC by answering a question about the album Bat Out Of Hell.

Advanced to the next round and evidentially came in second place overall. (Listened and learned when I was in Catholic school-and retained.)

Won a nice set of luggage. First prize was a trip to Jerusalem. Easy to see where the prize budget went.

Somewhere on VHS, I have a copy of the show. Aired locally only.

I think that I finally wore the last piece of that luggage out last year. Good luggage really.

Procrastination vs. Prioritizing

Pile of work needing to be done sitting on my desk and sewing machine and craft table....screaming at me. Scripts needing to be highlighted and sound and lighting cues to be logged.

Yet, I stall. I actually clean the house instead of facing the other tasks.  Why is it that we would do the most undesired tasks to put off the one that needs to be done?

Work bleeding over into my personal time bleeding over into my family time bleeding over into my "need to take a breathe" time.

All got done but at what cost to other things.

Not complaining, I made these choices of what I do. Thankful for a job that pays for a house over our heads and food on our plates. 

Taking a moment to figure out the order of importance of tasks sometimes is harder than the mountain of tasks to be done. 

And for what? There are many memes being posted about self-care and no one wins awards for being the last car in the work parking lot. And honestly, it feels like no one really cares or truly knows what I do for the job. 

The show will go up, it will be what it will be.  Props and costumes will get done. We will compete. Lessons hopefully will be learned. 

In the end, I will be exhausted.  Accolades might happen. Success might be achieved. Sound sleep will happen again.

But for now through mid-February, I will be on the treadmill of stress continually prioritizing and possibly procrastinating. 

Tea

 As I sit here writing and reviewing my electronic launch to the daily world, I am enjoying my hot cup of tea.  Today a blend of Celestial Energy Tea and Twinings Winter Spice (which I found on sale at Krogers this weekend - $1 a box!!)

 The whole concept of tea was a moment to slow down, take a break, and breathe. However, it is now a launch similar to morning coffee during the week for me. Make, chug, energize, take off. 

This is why the weekend is so precious in my tea world.  A full pot of tea (or two), blending herbal and black teas. Adding a dash of half & half and/or honey...sipping into a slower world opener.  Savoring the aroma and taste. No food to accompany it - just warming liquid hug. Breaking my fast will come later; family will awaken later.  The sheer quiet of my world for a few precious minutes.  

In the nicer weather, I head outside to enjoy my liquid love and the day awakening.  However, this past weekend was like having a "cuppa" in London - misty, foggy, chilly. Stepping outside with the dogs, getting cold, but knowing that a warm pot of "ahhh" awaiting me. 

Having my weekday morning cup does remind that this quiet, slow entry to the world is still needed.  A time for thoughts, prepping mentally for the day, reflection, warming up body, soul, and mind. 

Morning cup now enjoyed and drained, caught up with the world news, reviewed the bear traps of my work and personal email, deleting the onslaught of the spam email, glancing at the update of friends and family on Facebook, I can breathe and clearly launch.  Thank you tea for your support!

"Showtime"

 More and more as I get older, I feel like that scene in "All That Jazz."  

Roy Schneider's character is going through the morning ritual of pills, shower, music, eyedrops, headache powder, cigarette, game face, "showtime!"

Showtime!

Replace the pills and headache powder with multi-vitamins and herbal supplements and nix the cigarette. Add in a quick yoga stretch, letting the dogs out, dog treat time, checking email and making sure the world is still there via the web.

I would like to think that my ritual is more body friendly-less destructive but still a prep for the "show" of the day. 

Most people, I think, have some sort of prep ritual before they show their "game face" to the world. Let's face it-getting out of a warm, cozy bed to get up and change the world takes effort.  Even for those go getters that bounce out of bed ready to conquer.  

I believe it boils down to motivation: interior or exterior.  Adulting includes the willingness to set an alarm to wake up to prep for the day/job/ready the family/etc.  Motivation is found in what makes you set that alarm.

I read about all these stars who have their rituals.  Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson's routine is to wake up, take a cold shower, work out in his private inhouse gym, have a smoothie, take a warm shower, do his current job, come home, take a jog, take a hot shower, and go to bed.  Fit in good food, a promo or two, play with his kids, make a movie, etc. He is self-motivated but also knows that he must maintain his physique to get his amazing paycheck. He works hard and has worked hard to get where he is - no begrudging him that at all. I can only try and wish to be as motivated as he.  

So it comes down to what motivates you?  Money? Fear? Health? Survival? Love? A combination of all of these? Things that I continual ponder...each phase of my life has produced different motivations.  

But for now, I must go continue my "Showtime!" ritual....remembering to do the jazz hands in the mirror before I step out.

And the gun fires...

 So, yesterday was the first day back after a "long winters nap".

We gathered to hear the wise words of the next big thing coming down the educational train.  

Logical self:  Sounds good, makes sense, nice improvement, I can do this.

Cynical self: To the tune of Farmers Jingle-"I wrote a book, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum."  A new way of grading...perhaps we launch this in August?  The presenter compared teaching lessons to making pancakes - you only need 6 ingredients.  The way that you "mix" those together is the result of a learning, teaching a unit, or something, something.  Honestly, I begin to want pancakes instead of listening.  (I was launching back into my good eating habits trying desperately to undo the damage of the holidays...really convincing my self that the protein smoothie I had had for breakfast would sustain me until lunch.) Now this presenter is talking about pancakes and I literally began to smell them. 

I digress.  The next thought was make pancakes??  After the pandemic and trying to deal with all the levels of actual learning that occurred, or did not occur, online or in person, I feel that I am still gathering ingredients at times.  This bag of flour has sat on the shelf rotting, this one is fresh and ready, this one came in from abroad and is written in Sanskrit, there is no vanilla available, this one cannot have sugar, why is the milk sour, and so on. 

It didn't help that the presentation was on Zoom and the presenter had no dynamic.  Perhaps in person, he would have sparkled better or had the opportunity to truly interact. Plus his slides were blurry....or maybe it was just my "what time is it? I need more Chai tea!" eyes. 

So today, "they" arrive.  Sleepy, apathetic, hyper, glad to be out of the house, ready to explode for attention.  Some had a great holiday with lots of fun things to do and great feasts, some never left their rooms, some worried about having anything to eat, some bounced around between parents, some slept the entire two weeks.  

They will walk in with all their assorted luggage while I tap dance to get them back on track and launch the rest of the year.

So it is as the ad once stated, "time to make the donuts" um, pancakes.

Top of the year...10 years later since last post

 Wow! I could not find this blog spot that I started years, I mean, years ago.  Fortunately, hubby (thank you!) had bookmarked it on his massive HAL machine. 

10 years ago, I set out to be a blogger.  What was I thinking?  Babies were 3 and 4.  What a silly thought that I would actually have time to write.  Two little ones, a full time job, house to keep, dog to tend, etc.   Somehow Facebook became my blog of sorts. Easy and fast. Plus pictures!

Ten years fast forward:  now have two teenagers, made it through elementary, still navigating middle school with one child, trying to survive high school with the other, two dogs, same job for me, different job situations with hubby, same house, survived pandemic, hoping to get through the next wave, got back into performing Improv, done some voice over work, performed some promo witch gigs, traveled more, directed 30+ more shows, put on the weight, taken off the weight, put it back on, gained friends and family, lost friends and family.

I was reviewing my Christmas Card list last month.  I could not find the one from the previous year however, the year of our wedding, 20 years ago, popped up. 

Viewing it with all those in attendance to our wedding was....melancholy to say the least.  I had basically lifted the "thank you" notes list to the wedding attendees.  With our wedding in November, I wanted to make sure that those special people who attended/sent gifts received a Christmas card in December.

20 years...what a difference.  So many people from that list now with life changes.  Moved, divorced, married, separated.  The hardest was seeing those that are no longer with us listed.  Friends, family. 

I recently viewed the Dr. Who Holiday Special that BBC puts out every year.  This year, our fine heroes were stuck in a time loop-repeating the same few minutes but with each repeat, there was less time to figure out the problem, solution, and escape. They and the enemy were to learn from each go around hopefully, getting out of the loop alive. 

I feel that I am in a bit of that time loop.  Another variant of COVID is now active and we have been playing to beat the odds since 2019.  School closures, remote learning, vaccinations (which I have now had 3-each putting me on my back for 24 hours), masks, guidelines, avoiding crowds, etc. 

"Here we go again" seems to be the catch phrase.  Arguments about vaccinations: pros and cons. Yet, we still seem to be adrift in this time loop without actually seeming to learn much. 

Dr. Who figured it all out in 59 minutes and survived.  Collectively, we have had 105,897.532+ minutes and we are nowhere near as successful as Dr. Who. Though she did not need to work through the politics, personal opinions, financial battles, location challenges, and basic human mass to get it done. (She had 5 people to persuade to follow her commands and the total of 3 enemies to defeat.)

So, what does all this rambling mean?  "I don't know-it's a mystery." I guess, by blogging about whatever and whenever, I will dump my thoughts here to review later?  Release them? 

I plan to upload random thoughts throughout that I record in the moment. 

Read if you wish, follow if you wish, judge not I request.