Tea

 As I sit here writing and reviewing my electronic launch to the daily world, I am enjoying my hot cup of tea.  Today a blend of Celestial Energy Tea and Twinings Winter Spice (which I found on sale at Krogers this weekend - $1 a box!!)

 The whole concept of tea was a moment to slow down, take a break, and breathe. However, it is now a launch similar to morning coffee during the week for me. Make, chug, energize, take off. 

This is why the weekend is so precious in my tea world.  A full pot of tea (or two), blending herbal and black teas. Adding a dash of half & half and/or honey...sipping into a slower world opener.  Savoring the aroma and taste. No food to accompany it - just warming liquid hug. Breaking my fast will come later; family will awaken later.  The sheer quiet of my world for a few precious minutes.  

In the nicer weather, I head outside to enjoy my liquid love and the day awakening.  However, this past weekend was like having a "cuppa" in London - misty, foggy, chilly. Stepping outside with the dogs, getting cold, but knowing that a warm pot of "ahhh" awaiting me. 

Having my weekday morning cup does remind that this quiet, slow entry to the world is still needed.  A time for thoughts, prepping mentally for the day, reflection, warming up body, soul, and mind. 

Morning cup now enjoyed and drained, caught up with the world news, reviewed the bear traps of my work and personal email, deleting the onslaught of the spam email, glancing at the update of friends and family on Facebook, I can breathe and clearly launch.  Thank you tea for your support!

"Showtime"

 More and more as I get older, I feel like that scene in "All That Jazz."  

Roy Schneider's character is going through the morning ritual of pills, shower, music, eyedrops, headache powder, cigarette, game face, "showtime!"

Showtime!

Replace the pills and headache powder with multi-vitamins and herbal supplements and nix the cigarette. Add in a quick yoga stretch, letting the dogs out, dog treat time, checking email and making sure the world is still there via the web.

I would like to think that my ritual is more body friendly-less destructive but still a prep for the "show" of the day. 

Most people, I think, have some sort of prep ritual before they show their "game face" to the world. Let's face it-getting out of a warm, cozy bed to get up and change the world takes effort.  Even for those go getters that bounce out of bed ready to conquer.  

I believe it boils down to motivation: interior or exterior.  Adulting includes the willingness to set an alarm to wake up to prep for the day/job/ready the family/etc.  Motivation is found in what makes you set that alarm.

I read about all these stars who have their rituals.  Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson's routine is to wake up, take a cold shower, work out in his private inhouse gym, have a smoothie, take a warm shower, do his current job, come home, take a jog, take a hot shower, and go to bed.  Fit in good food, a promo or two, play with his kids, make a movie, etc. He is self-motivated but also knows that he must maintain his physique to get his amazing paycheck. He works hard and has worked hard to get where he is - no begrudging him that at all. I can only try and wish to be as motivated as he.  

So it comes down to what motivates you?  Money? Fear? Health? Survival? Love? A combination of all of these? Things that I continual ponder...each phase of my life has produced different motivations.  

But for now, I must go continue my "Showtime!" ritual....remembering to do the jazz hands in the mirror before I step out.

And the gun fires...

 So, yesterday was the first day back after a "long winters nap".

We gathered to hear the wise words of the next big thing coming down the educational train.  

Logical self:  Sounds good, makes sense, nice improvement, I can do this.

Cynical self: To the tune of Farmers Jingle-"I wrote a book, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum."  A new way of grading...perhaps we launch this in August?  The presenter compared teaching lessons to making pancakes - you only need 6 ingredients.  The way that you "mix" those together is the result of a learning, teaching a unit, or something, something.  Honestly, I begin to want pancakes instead of listening.  (I was launching back into my good eating habits trying desperately to undo the damage of the holidays...really convincing my self that the protein smoothie I had had for breakfast would sustain me until lunch.) Now this presenter is talking about pancakes and I literally began to smell them. 

I digress.  The next thought was make pancakes??  After the pandemic and trying to deal with all the levels of actual learning that occurred, or did not occur, online or in person, I feel that I am still gathering ingredients at times.  This bag of flour has sat on the shelf rotting, this one is fresh and ready, this one came in from abroad and is written in Sanskrit, there is no vanilla available, this one cannot have sugar, why is the milk sour, and so on. 

It didn't help that the presentation was on Zoom and the presenter had no dynamic.  Perhaps in person, he would have sparkled better or had the opportunity to truly interact. Plus his slides were blurry....or maybe it was just my "what time is it? I need more Chai tea!" eyes. 

So today, "they" arrive.  Sleepy, apathetic, hyper, glad to be out of the house, ready to explode for attention.  Some had a great holiday with lots of fun things to do and great feasts, some never left their rooms, some worried about having anything to eat, some bounced around between parents, some slept the entire two weeks.  

They will walk in with all their assorted luggage while I tap dance to get them back on track and launch the rest of the year.

So it is as the ad once stated, "time to make the donuts" um, pancakes.

Top of the year...10 years later since last post

 Wow! I could not find this blog spot that I started years, I mean, years ago.  Fortunately, hubby (thank you!) had bookmarked it on his massive HAL machine. 

10 years ago, I set out to be a blogger.  What was I thinking?  Babies were 3 and 4.  What a silly thought that I would actually have time to write.  Two little ones, a full time job, house to keep, dog to tend, etc.   Somehow Facebook became my blog of sorts. Easy and fast. Plus pictures!

Ten years fast forward:  now have two teenagers, made it through elementary, still navigating middle school with one child, trying to survive high school with the other, two dogs, same job for me, different job situations with hubby, same house, survived pandemic, hoping to get through the next wave, got back into performing Improv, done some voice over work, performed some promo witch gigs, traveled more, directed 30+ more shows, put on the weight, taken off the weight, put it back on, gained friends and family, lost friends and family.

I was reviewing my Christmas Card list last month.  I could not find the one from the previous year however, the year of our wedding, 20 years ago, popped up. 

Viewing it with all those in attendance to our wedding was....melancholy to say the least.  I had basically lifted the "thank you" notes list to the wedding attendees.  With our wedding in November, I wanted to make sure that those special people who attended/sent gifts received a Christmas card in December.

20 years...what a difference.  So many people from that list now with life changes.  Moved, divorced, married, separated.  The hardest was seeing those that are no longer with us listed.  Friends, family. 

I recently viewed the Dr. Who Holiday Special that BBC puts out every year.  This year, our fine heroes were stuck in a time loop-repeating the same few minutes but with each repeat, there was less time to figure out the problem, solution, and escape. They and the enemy were to learn from each go around hopefully, getting out of the loop alive. 

I feel that I am in a bit of that time loop.  Another variant of COVID is now active and we have been playing to beat the odds since 2019.  School closures, remote learning, vaccinations (which I have now had 3-each putting me on my back for 24 hours), masks, guidelines, avoiding crowds, etc. 

"Here we go again" seems to be the catch phrase.  Arguments about vaccinations: pros and cons. Yet, we still seem to be adrift in this time loop without actually seeming to learn much. 

Dr. Who figured it all out in 59 minutes and survived.  Collectively, we have had 105,897.532+ minutes and we are nowhere near as successful as Dr. Who. Though she did not need to work through the politics, personal opinions, financial battles, location challenges, and basic human mass to get it done. (She had 5 people to persuade to follow her commands and the total of 3 enemies to defeat.)

So, what does all this rambling mean?  "I don't know-it's a mystery." I guess, by blogging about whatever and whenever, I will dump my thoughts here to review later?  Release them? 

I plan to upload random thoughts throughout that I record in the moment. 

Read if you wish, follow if you wish, judge not I request. 

Penz Recruitment Video

Penz Recruitment Video

Who is Penz?

Who is Penz?

End of a Cycle or falling off the bike gracefully

This time of year is rather melancholy for many people including myself because it ends a cycle of some such.  School is ending-children are another year older, teachers wrap up everything for the school year, grades are due.  Shows are ending-the stage lays quiet for a while. Testing periods are done and results are in from the performance. 

We as humans live in cycles.  It matters not what you do, you are probably in a cycle of some sort.  In business, one follows the fiscal calendar.  In education, one follows a school year calendar.  In theatre, one follows a rehearsal to premiere to end of run schedule.  In broadcast, one follows the yearly "sweeps" calendar.  All of the above demand a heightened seige of energy at the last few days.  Then the fall....that is perhaps the hardest. 

We look to the quiet of the cycle being done and whisper the count down to ourselves as we face the daily stress the cycle causes.  But there is the "doneness" that rings silent in our ears.  The shadow of the energy spent and the "what do we do now" question once our days are not longer completely booked.

These thoughts echoed through my head as I watched my daughter ride a big girl's bike for the first time.  The joy of seeing her grow more independent daily brought tears to my eyes. The passing of her toddler ship did as well.   The cycle of her being just a tricycle riding baby is done.  She is growing and becoming the child and then the adult that I wish her to be.  

My son starts kindergarten.  The tears well up again for the doneness of one cycle and the beginning of another.  Where did my little boy go?  Those moments of just rocking, holding, and singing in a chair all night are past. 

Yes, for both, there will still need to be comfort moments.  Heck, I still want to be hugged, rocked, and sung to many times. The celebration of growing and the sadness at growing are a thin line indeed.

There are moments looking at cycles that I am no longer a participate still makes melancholy come on hard.  Dear friends just wrapped up their season of mirth and merriment.  A season that I no longer participate in due to choices made.  Anger is not the emotion but rather an empathy feeling with them that that cycle has finished once again for this year.  I was privileged to watch their fun from the glass wall of my monitor and share their laughter-a voyeur from the outside looking in.  Miss it?  Yes, but pleased at their success and glow.

The school building will soon sit quiet as the last energizing youth springs from its doors.  The building itself seems to weep a bit and try to fill the noise gap.  The air conditioner kicks on a little louder, the structure creaks a bit more resounding, and the hum of the computers forcefully emits to try and gain any attention.  They too know that a cycle has ended and it is time to lay dormant until the next.

Friends and family members have just had their babies.  They too are beginning a new cycle that will be splintered into many different cycles in many different ways. Daily to weekly to monthly to yearly.  Each with the momentary recognition of time passing. 

My husband stated that this is why he takes so many pictures.  As human, we are trying to capture time-to stop it for a brief moment so that we can relish in it, celebrate its being, recognize its passing, and mourn its loss. 

So for now, I shall be melancholy, embrace the sadness, celebrate the joy, and know that as soon on one cycle ends, the next is beginning.  And pray that I too can stop time just briefly....just briefly.....